How to Go Bowling

Sure, I could say, you know, like, “Maybe hit some of the pins next time,” you know, but what good would that do? You think I don’t know you were trying to hit the pins? Or, like, do you think that I think that you don’t know how it works? As if I think that you thought you were supposed to roll the ball straight down the gutter, five times in a row? As if that’s the big confusion here and once that little point gets clarified, it’ll be strikes all the way down, just 300 after 300? Like, do you think I think you thought the point of the game was to avoid the pins? No, I did not think that that’s what you thought. But if I say, like, what would happen if you tried a lighter ball, because it might let you roll it with more control and higher speed? Or maybe I say, like, see what happens if you release half a second earlier, or half a second later, to sort of discover how that affects the roll, to sort of re-center on that point and see what that does? Because, you know what? Maybe you’re just here for the beer and the nachos, and when it’s your turn to bowl you feel so lonesome up there, standing solo in a stranger’s shoes, and all you want to do is get it over with and get back to the table, to the camaraderie, to hearing about Larry’s divorce, or Sarah’s new baby, or my new job. And if that’s the case, then keep throwing straight down the gutter, good for you. A perfect zero is the fastest way back to the table.