But, remember,

on mobile? turn phone sideways!

I was the one who couldn't stop touching
then, who wanted to have endless sex in my silly
adolescent room, who begged you to come over for
afternoon delight afternoon delight afternoon delight,
pausing only to fetch bite-size chocolate bars from the kitchen and
maneuver a mini 3 Musketeers into my tingling, tired mouth
as I climbed back into bed. One for you too. More for the dresser,
for later, an entire mountain of later for us to share.
I'm not trying to say I knew we would move in together, marry,
believe in our sweet responsible trauma-kid hearts
we possessed the slippery permanence everyone plays for.
What I did know is that I was sexual and steadfast; I could lie
next to you for as long as the sugar lasted, I could lie
still and feel you look at me and speak to me, those small
vibrations in the air, good, good, could never not be good.
So you see, when I tell people I did not divorce you,
I divorced myself, it is not a way to protect you, no gracious
self-effacement. I thought we would be together forever,
me and that earlier me, growing old in a single peaceful house.